Column about sports where one-liners and sarcasm will be the theme in the ever laughable world of professional sports.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Occasionally Coherent Ramblings in Sports #20

I do not want to talk about Chicago sports, really, I dont, but how can I not? The Bears just went twice to New Jersey for football and won both games, all but securing the NFC North Division. But that was but only a small piece of the news Chicago is providing the sports world on Sunday and into Monday. 8-years/$136 million. Thats what they are going to pay for Alfonso Soriano. This is unbelievable. They never do anything this smart, and possibly overpaying, for a star in his prime. They have a pretty stacked line-up now, now if they only could find a few healthy arms to throw the ball over the plate and away from other team's bats.

Ahhh...back to the real issues at hand.

Green Bay is officially a mess. Not only is Brett Favre hurt with a nerve problem in his arm, which seems pretty serious to me. But, Aaron Rodgers, the backup QB and 2005 #1 draft pick broke his foot playing in one half of football for the injured Favre. The great thing about this, here is Favre, having played in 200+ games in a row, which, in my mind, is infinitely more impressive than Cal Ripken's streak, and he gets hurt during the first half and his backup gets hurt and will miss multiple games. Favre - 200+, Rodgers 0

Ladainian Tomlinson broke the pace for the number of games it takes to get to 100 TDs beating out Emmitt Smith and Jim Brown. Smith and Brown did it each in 93 games where Tomlinson got to it in 89 games. Oh, and he got to 101, 102 in 89 games too, the fastest to them as well. That is pretty decent company.

The Colts lost. Griese (No, Bob not Brian) and the rest of the 1972 Dolphins can un-cork the champagne. But, please follow that with the fact that NONE OF US CARE THAT YOU ALL STILL GET TOGETHER TO UN-CORK CHAMPAGNE AND CELEBRATE! I dont. I really just dont care. Granted, it has been so long since it last happened that many of the players on the team have to be careful and not mix the champagne with Viagra otherwise they could have adverse effects, like a hard-on for 12 hours, granted if you drink enough champagne, that may not be a total concern.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Occasionally Coherent Ramblings in Sports #19

I would love it if on of these times when I say that I am back, that I actually stay back, instead of acting like a college frat boy going over to the same girl's house at 2AM and for the eighth time saying that he is interested in a relationship but the timing just isnt right....

I need to start off this week's column with a mention of the Bears. My beloved Bears. They have been noted as the best team in the NFL one week and then everyone counts them out. You would think with the experts comments on the Bears that they were 6-3, not 8-1. The defense has been very solid again this year, although the pass rush has been absent the last few weeks. Oh, and if someone could slide some Smelling salts under the nose of Adewale Ogunleye to wake him up. That or introduce him to the opposing team's QB prior to the game so he would know who his objective it is to hit and tackle, well, that would be swell too.

Rex Grossman has taken a lot of criticism, but the O-Line has not been great the last few weeks and he has been taking much more of a beating. Not easy to play the QB position when you think you may get hit each time you go back. Grossman has kept his mouth shut with any criticisms. But, hopefully, this past week is a good omen for him. He and the rest of the offense started off very flat, in a hostile environment, on Prime Time, and then the Bears got a first down on a draw on 3rd and 22, momentum changed, Bears roll down the field, touchdown pass tp Mark Bradley (wonderful seeing him on the field again). Cue Hester's 108 touchdown run, Eli Manning having a more confused look on his face than normal, Bears win.

On to everything else...
$51 million dollars. Thats it. Oh, wait, that was just for the right to sign him to Scott Boras-as-my-agent money? Mixed move in my mind. Part of the reason the BoSox did this, apparently, was so the Yanks could not sign him. If I were the BoSox, I would let them. Everytime, since the A-Rod trade, that the Yanks have thrown their money around, the move has hit them in the face. Randy and his back, Jaret Wright and the list goes on. You may just want to let Yanks and Cashman continue his poor performance as a GM. Although what they got for Sheffield from the Tigers was a fantastic move. They have a weak minor league and just added what looks like 3 stud pitchers.

I got an email from a friend mentioning that the Mighty Ducks trade was awful and the Blackhawks should trade Khabilbulin mid-season was awful. My response, when did the NHL end its strike?

Bobby Bowden had to fire his son, the Offensive Coordinator who was simply offensive as a coordinator. But, they said that his son reported to another coach (who reported to Bowden) to avoid any nepotism. Well, its a good thing too. Maybe he can hire Terry Bowden so I dont have to look at his face any more during pre- and post- game shows.

Joe Pa is planning on being at the game again this Saturday and even told his players, "I'm not going anywhere". I love this guy. This guy has had to redevelop his whole theory on coaching multiple times in order to keep up with the times. Sometimes he was slower on the change than others, but he does and is Top 5 greatest college coaches ever. I would take him over Bobby Bowden any day of the week. And why you ask? Because Joe Pa still is wearing those same glasses from 1967, add a little tape to hold them together and it would make things perfect. Bowden? Those sunglasses that dont have any tint to them. Umm..why? Please, Bobby, why?

NBA is back. I love seeing these rich, prissy guys running around the court and when they commit a foul that rips a guy's head off, wonders why there is a call. Even, better, I cannot wait for one of the guys to purely explode after he gets a technical foul for giving that look this year (which is now illegal to do) and having him pull an Artest/Antonio Davis on the ref for giving him a technical.

Oh, and that ball, that damn new ball. I was not sure I was buying into the hype of how bad the new ball was. That was until I saw Vince Carter chuck up a shot from three-point land that even George Costanza would cringe at, it hit the back of the rim. Old school ball bounces 10 feet in the air and away from the basket. New ball? Falls dead and rolls into the hoop. The moment I saw that, one word popped into my head, AWFUL.

And I am all for the whole, if you are a starter in the NFL and you get hurt, you should have your job back. But with that comment should be an asterisk. Such as, if your back-up is playing great, see Damon Huard, get Green back into the thick of things. Have his dress, prepare again like a quarterback should, make sure there are no cobwebs or headaches coming from that first. Get him back on the field where he was one ounce away from being torn into two. This is Classic Herm Edwards. No practicality, just, lets throw Trent Green immediately back into the game now that he has been medically cleared by the doctors. Nevermind that they are 5-4, so a loss could make this season very difficult to make it to the postseason, just re-insert the man. The one thing Edwards could do to take some pressure off Green. Run the ball with Larry Johnson about 65 times in the game.

Great article by Bill Simmons on Espn.com's Page 2 about the Doc Rivers firing. Oh, excuse me, the soon to be firing of Doc Rivers from the Celtics.

Oh, and yes, I hate Kobe Bryant now more than ever. #8 won him how many championships, his own team, big contracts and rape charges, #24? A serious increase in jersey sales. He is making everyone go out and buy new jerseys of his. I would hate to be that person who bought a jersey for $50 the day before that announcement.

And last but, certainly, not least, Bob Knight. I agree with you that it is a non-issue. People complain how nowadays there is no discipline in sports like there was in the "Good Ole Days". Well, folks, this was a very soft way of discipline in the "Good Ole Days". There was just no Sportscenter back then to show it. If the kid's parents do not care, then it truly is a non-issue. Moving on.....

See you all next week.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Occasionally Coherent Ramblings in Sports #19

I would love it if on of these times when I say that I am back, that I actually stay back, instead of acting like a college frat boy going over to the same girl's house at 2AM and for the eighth time saying that he is interested in a relationship but the timing just isnt right....

I need to start off this week's column with a mention of the Bears. My beloved Bears. They have been noted as the best team in the NFL one week and then everyone counts them out. You would think with the experts comments on the Bears that they were 6-3, not 8-1. The defense has been very solid again this year, although the pass rush has been absent the last few weeks. Oh, and if someone could slide some Smelling salts under the nose of Adewale Ogunleye to wake him up. That or introduce him to the opposing team's QB prior to the game so he would know who his objective it is to hit and tackle, well, that would be swell too.

Rex Grossman has taken a lot of criticism, but the O-Line has not been great the last few weeks and he has been taking much more of a beating. Not easy to play the QB position when you think you may get hit each time you go back. Grossman has kept his mouth shut with any criticisms. But, hopefully, this past week is a good omen for him. He and the rest of the offense started off very flat, in a hostile environment, on Prime Time, and then the Bears got a first down on a draw on 3rd and 22, momentum changed, Bears roll down the field, touchdown pass tp Mark Bradley (wonderful seeing him on the field again). Cue Hester's 108 touchdown run, Eli Manning having a more confused look on his face than normal, Bears win.

On to everything else...
$51 million dollars. Thats it. Oh, wait, that was just for the right to sign him to Scott Boras-as-my-agent money? Mixed move in my mind. Part of the reason the BoSox did this, apparently, was so the Yanks could not sign him. If I were the BoSox, I would let them. Everytime, since the A-Rod trade, that the Yanks have thrown their money around, the move has hit them in the face. Randy and his back, Jaret Wright and the list goes on. You may just want to let Yanks and Cashman continue his poor performance as a GM. Although what they got for Sheffield from the Tigers was a fantastic move. They have a weak minor league and just added what looks like 3 stud pitchers.

I got an email from a friend mentioning that the Mighty Ducks trade was awful and the Blackhawks should trade Khabilbulin mid-season was awful. My response, when did the NHL end its strike?

Bobby Bowden had to fire his son, the Offensive Coordinator who was simply offensive as a coordinator. But, they said that his son reported to another coach (who reported to Bowden) to avoid any nepotism. Well, its a good thing too. Maybe he can hire Terry Bowden so I dont have to look at his face any more during pre- and post- game shows.

Joe Pa is planning on being at the game again this Saturday and even told his players, "I'm not going anywhere". I love this guy. This guy has had to redevelop his whole theory on coaching multiple times in order to keep up with the times. Sometimes he was slower on the change than others, but he does and is Top 5 greatest college coaches ever. I would take him over Bobby Bowden any day of the week. And why you ask? Because Joe Pa still is wearing those same glasses from 1967, add a little tape to hold them together and it would make things perfect. Bowden? Those sunglasses that dont have any tint to them. Umm..why? Please, Bobby, why?

NBA is back. I love seeing these rich, prissy guys running around the court and when they commit a foul that rips a guy's head off, wonders why there is a call. Even, better, I cannot wait for one of the guys to purely explode after he gets a technical foul for giving that look this year (which is now illegal to do) and having him pull an Artest/Antonio Davis on the ref for giving him a technical.

Oh, and that ball, that damn new ball. I was not sure I was buying into the hype of how bad the new ball was. That was until I saw Vince Carter chuck up a shot from three-point land that even George Costanza would cringe at, it hit the back of the rim. Old school ball bounces 10 feet in the air and away from the basket. New ball? Falls dead and rolls into the hoop. The moment I saw that, one word popped into my head, AWFUL.

And I am all for the whole, if you are a starter in the NFL and you get hurt, you should have your job back. But with that comment should be an asterisk. Such as, if your back-up is playing great, see Damon Huard, get Green back into the thick of things. Have his dress, prepare again like a quarterback should, make sure there are no cobwebs or headaches coming from that first. Get him back on the field where he was one ounce away from being torn into two. This is Classic Herm Edwards. No practicality, just, lets throw Trent Green immediately back into the game now that he has been medically cleared by the doctors. Nevermind that they are 5-4, so a loss could make this season very difficult to make it to the postseason, just re-insert the man. The one thing Edwards could do to take some pressure off Green. Run the ball with Larry Johnson about 65 times in the game.

Great article by Bill Simmons on Espn.com's Page 2 about the Doc Rivers firing. Oh, excuse me, the soon to be firing of Doc Rivers from the Celtics.

Oh, and yes, I hate Kobe Bryant now more than ever. #8 won him how many championships, his own team, big contracts and rape charges, #24? A serious increase in jersey sales. He is making everyone go out and buy new jerseys of his. I would hate to be that person who bought a jersey for $50 the day before that announcement.

And last but, certainly, not least, Bob Knight. I agree with you that it is a non-issue. People complain how nowadays there is no discipline in sports like there was in the "Good Ole Days". Well, folks, this was a very soft way of discipline in the "Good Ole Days". There was just no Sportscenter back then to show it. If the kid's parents do not care, then it truly is a non-issue. Moving on.....

See you all next week.

Occasionally Coherent Ramblings in Sports #19

I would love it if on of these times when I say that I am back, that I actually stay back, instead of acting like a college frat boy going over to the same girl's house at 2AM and for the eighth time saying that he is interested in a relationship but the timing just isnt right....

I need to start off this week's column with a mention of the Bears. My beloved Bears. They have been noted as the best team in the NFL one week and then everyone counts them out. You would think with the experts comments on the Bears that they were 6-3, not 8-1. The defense has been very solid again this year, although the pass rush has been absent the last few weeks. Oh, and if someone could slide some Smelling salts under the nose of Adewale Ogunleye to wake him up. That or introduce him to the opposing team's QB prior to the game so he would know who his objective it is to hit and tackle, well, that would be swell too.

Rex Grossman has taken a lot of critiscism, but the O-Line has not been great the last few weeks and he has been taking much more of a beating. Not easy to play the QB position when you think you may get hit each time you go back. Grossman has kept his mouth shut with any critisicms. But, hopefully, this past week is a good omen for him. He and the rest of the offense started off very flat, in a hostile environment, on Prime Time, and then the Bears got a first down on a draw on 3rd and 22, momentum changed, Bears roll down the field, touchdown pass tp Mark Bradley (wonderful seeing him on the field again). Cue Hester's 108 touchdown run, Eli Manning having a more confused look on his face than normal, Bears win.

On to everything else...
$51 million dollars. Thats it. Oh, wait, that was just for the right to sign him to Scott Boras-as-my-agent money? Mixed move in my mind. Part of the reason the BoSox did this, apparently, was so the Yanks could not sign him. If I were the BoSox, I would let them. Everytime, since the A-Rod trade, that the Yanks have thrown their money around, the move has hit them in the face. Randy and his back, Jaret Wright and the list goes on. You may just want to let Yanks and Cashman continue his poor performace as a GM. Although what they got for Sheffield from the Tigers was a fantastic move. They have a weak minor league and just added what looks like 3 stud pitchers.

I got an email from a friend mentioning that the Mighty Ducks trade was awful and the Blackhawks should trade Khabilbulin mid-season was awful. My response, when did the NHL end its strike?

Bobby Bowden had to fire his son, the Offensive Coordinator who was simply offensive as a coordinator. But, they said that his son reported to another coach (who reported to Bowden) to avoid any nepotism. Well, its a good thing too. Maybe he can hire Terry Bowden so I dont have to look at his face any more during pre- and post- game shows.

Joe Pa is planning on being at the game again this Saturday and even told his players, "I'm not going anywhere". I love this guy. This guy has had to redevelop his whole theory on coaching multiple times in order to keep up with the times. Sometimes he was slower on the change than others, but he does and is Top 5 greatest colege coaches ever. I would take him over Bobby Bowden any day of the week. And why you ask? Because Joe Pa still is wearing those same glasses from 1967, add a little tape to hold them together and it would make things perfect. Bowden? Those sunglasses that dont have any tint to them. Umm..why? Please, Bobby, why?

NBA is back. I love seeing these rich, prissy guys running around the court and when they commit a foul that rips a guy's head off, wonders why there is a call. Even, better, I cannot wait for one of the guys to purely explode after he gets a technical foul for giving that look this year (which is now illegal to do) and having him pull an Artest/Antonio Davis on the ref for giving him a technical.

Oh, and that ball, that damn new ball. I was not sure I was buying into the hype of how bad the new ball was. That was until I saw Vince Carter chuck up a shot from three-point land that even George Costanza would cringe at, it hit the back of the rim. Old school ball bounces 10 feet in the air and away from the basket. New ball? Falls dead and rolls into the hoop. The moment I saw that, one word popped into my head, AWFUL.

And I am all for the whole, if you are a starter in the NFL and you get hurt, you should have your job back. But with that comment should be an asterisk. Such as, if your back-up is playing great, see Damon Huard, get Green back into the thick of things. Have his dress, prepare again like a quarterback should, make sure there are no cobwebs or headaches coming from that first. Get him back on the field where he was one ounce away from being torn into two. This is Classic Herm Edwards. No practicality, just, lets throw Trent Green immediately back into the game now that he has been medically cleared by the doctors. Nevermind that they are 5-4, so a loss could make this season very difficult to make it to the postseason, just re-insert the man. The one thing Edwards could do to take some pressure off Green. Run the ball with Larry Johnson about 65 times in the game.

Great article by Bill Simmons on Espn.com's Page 2 about the Doc Rivers firing. Oh, excuse me, the soon to be firing of Doc Rivers from the Celtics.

Oh, and yes, I hate Kobe Bryant now more than ever. #8 won him how many championships, his own team, big contracts and rape charges, #24? A serious increase in jersey sales. He is making everyone go out and buy new jerseys of his. I would hate to be that person who bought a jersey for $50 the day before that announcement.

And last but, certainly, not least, Bob Knight. I agree with you that it is a non-issue. People complain how nowadays there is no discipline in sports like there was in the "Good Ole Days". Well, folks, this was a very soft way of discipline in the "Good Ole Days". There was just no Sportscenter back then to show it. If the kid's parents do not care, then it truly is a non-issue. Moving on.....

See you all next week.

Occasionally Coherent Ramblings in Sports #19

I would love it if on of these times when I say that I am back, that I actually stay back, instead of acting like a college frat boy going over to the same girl's house at 2AM and for the eighth time saying that he is interested in a relationship but the timing just isnt right....

I need to start off this week's column with a mention of the Bears. My beloved Bears. They have been noted as the best team in the NFL one week and then everyone counts them out. You would think with the experts comments on the Bears that they were 6-3, not 8-1. The defense has been very solid again this year, although the pass rush has been absent the last few weeks. Oh, and if someone could slide some Smelling salts under the nose of Adewale Ogunleye to wake him up. That or introduce him to the opposing team's QB prior to the game so he would know who his objective it is to hit and tackle, well, that would be swell too.

Rex Grossman has taken a lot of critiscism, but the O-Line has not been great the last few weeks and he has been taking much more of a beating. Not easy to play the QB position when you think you may get hit each time you go back. Grossman has kept his mouth shut with any critisicms. But, hopefully, this past week is a good omen for him. He and the rest of the offense started off very flat, in a hostile environment, on Prime Time, and then the Bears got a first down on a draw on 3rd and 22, momentum changed, Bears roll down the field, touchdown pass tp Mark Bradley (wonderful seeing him on the field again). Cue Hester's 108 touchdown run, Eli Manning having a more confused look on his face than normal, Bears win.

On to everything else...
$51 million dollars. Thats it. Oh, wait, that was just for the right to sign him to Scott Boras-as-my-agent money? Mixed move in my mind. Part of the reason the BoSox did this, apparently, was so the Yanks could not sign him. If I were the BoSox, I would let them. Everytime, since the A-Rod trade, that the Yanks have thrown their money around, the move has hit them in the face. Randy and his back, Jaret Wright and the list goes on. You may just want to let Yanks and Cashman continue his poor performace as a GM. Although what they got for Sheffield from the Tigers was a fantastic move. They have a weak minor league and just added what looks like 3 stud pitchers.

I got an email from a friend mentioning that the Mighty Ducks trade was awful and the Blackhawks should trade Khabilbulin mid-season was awful. My response, when did the NHL end its strike?

Bobby Bowden had to fire his son, the Offensive Coordinator who was simply offensive as a coordinator. But, they said that his son reported to another coach (who reported to Bowden) to avoid any nepotism. Well, its a good thing too. Maybe he can hire Terry Bowden so I dont have to look at his face any more during pre- and post- game shows.

Joe Pa is planning on being at the game again this Saturday and even told his players, "I'm not going anywhere". I love this guy. This guy has had to redevelop his whole theory on coaching multiple times in order to keep up with the times. Sometimes he was slower on the change than others, but he does and is Top 5 greatest colege coaches ever. I would take him over Bobby Bowden any day of the week. And why you ask? Because Joe Pa still is wearing those same glasses from 1967, add a little tape to hold them together and it would make things perfect. Bowden? Those sunglasses that dont have any tint to them. Umm..why? Please, Bobby, why?

NBA is back. I love seeing these rich, prissy guys running around the court and when they commit a foul that rips a guy's head off, wonders why there is a call. Even, better, I cannot wait for one of the guys to purely explode after he gets a technical foul for giving that look this year (which is now illegal to do) and having him pull an Artest/Antonio Davis on the ref for giving him a technical.

Oh, and that ball, that damn new ball. I was not sure I was buying into the hype of how bad the new ball was. That was until I saw Vince Carter chuck up a shot from three-point land that even George Costanza would cringe at, it hit the back of the rim. Old school ball bounces 10 feet in the air and away from the basket. New ball? Falls dead and rolls into the hoop. The moment I saw that, one word popped into my head, AWFUL.

And I am all for the whole, if you are a starter in the NFL and you get hurt, you should have your job back. But with that comment should be an asterisk. Such as, if your back-up is playing great, see Damon Huard, get Green back into the thick of things. Have his dress, prepare again like a quarterback should, make sure there are no cobwebs or headaches coming from that first. Get him back on the field where he was one ounce away from being torn into two. This is Classic Herm Edwards. No practicality, just, lets throw Trent Green immediately back into the game now that he has been medically cleared by the doctors. Nevermind that they are 5-4, so a loss could make this season very difficult to make it to the postseason, just re-insert the man. The one thing Edwards could do to take some pressure off Green. Run the ball with Larry Johnson about 65 times in the game.

Great article by Bill Simmons on Espn.com's Page 2 about the Doc Rivers firing. Oh, excuse me, the soon to be firing of Doc Rivers from the Celtics.

Oh, and yes, I hate Kobe Bryant now more than ever. #8 won him how many championships, his own team, big contracts and rape charges, #24? A serious increase in jersey sales. He is making everyone go out and buy new jerseys of his. I would hate to be that person who bought a jersey for $50 the day before that announcement.

And last but, certainly, not least, Bob Knight. I agree with you that it is a non-issue. People complain how nowadays there is no discipline in sports like there was in the "Good Ole Days". Well, folks, this was a very soft way of discipline in the "Good Ole Days". There was just no Sportscenter back then to show it. If the kid's parents do not care, then it truly is a non-issue. Moving on.....

See you all next week.