Column about sports where one-liners and sarcasm will be the theme in the ever laughable world of professional sports.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Occasionally Coherent Ramblings #18

Oh how the madness! This is what I love about Chicago and Wrigley Field. Jacque Jones, who made the classic professional athlete mistake, and insulted the fans he was there to entertain, got doubled off of second base and then, in the eighth inning, prior to the inning beginning had a baseball thrown at him by a fan that almost hit him in the head. The greatest part about this, and this may only be done in Wrigley Field, the largest bar in Chicago, it was thrown by a woman! He pointed her out and she was detained. But in classic masculine-feminine style, she was not arrested. Any man would have been arrested but she was let off the hook. She was known to be "Under the Influence" which means people are using booze as an excuse, which is my #1 or #2 rule that you cannot do something and blame poor ole defenseless, delicious booze. She should be arrested and she should be treated the same way as to when I did it, or could have done it.

The Miami Heat burned the Nets last night in 5 games. The Bulls put together a better series and have no one on the team.

Larry Brown is about to be bought out of his contract with $40-44M remaining on it. This means he gets $40M to no longer have to be a part of the worst run franchise in all of sports (this includes the Chicago Blackhawks) and gets paid a lot to go coach somewhere else. All the reports say that Brown did a poor job of coaching this past year, and who am I to judge. Actually, I am just the person to judge. He did a crap-tastic job, and was surrounded with more me-first, shoot-first guys on one team assembled since the past Olympic Basketball Team. Difference, more talent on the Olympic Team, other similarity, same head coach....hmmmm......I would not hire Larry Brown, and his high-priced, ultra-arrogant ways to save my life. I think there are plenty of better coaches available like Kurt Rambis or Tummi Gummi from the Gummi Bears cartoon show (

Third duke player got indicted on rape, kidnapping, pilagging, extortion, racketeering, death of the first born and all the other plagues. This whole thing is being drawn out by the media by now. Now I am not calling her a liar, I would never do that without knowing more about the case, but two thoughts come to mind, A) Rich school kids, playing a rich kids game, drinking rich beer (made that part up) = $$$ to many people (strippers). B) If this were football and involving a black athlete playing for Florida State or Nebraska (odd how I chose those schools, huh?) this would be a big deal for about 24 mins. But since it involves an institution thought of with the utmost respect with white kids, all of a sudden its a travesty or tragedy, I do not really know. (FYI, I am white, so you cannot play the race card with me.)

Barry Bonds got booed in Houston. But who hasnt.

On a sad note, jackass basketball player, Larry Hughes, lost his brother who had a heart defect. Hughes, who had offers to play at big schools, chose to play his one college year at St Louis Univeristy to be close to home and his brother. This is proof that all these rich basketball players with the me-first attitude can actually have a heart (no pun intended) when you strip them down to a place where money is not involved. I do not like Larry Hughes the basketball player, but my heart still goes out to him or anyone who has ever lost a sibling, parent or family member. Him leaving his team in the playoffs with full team support proves how important his brother is and will be to him and the effect he had on the other team members.


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