Column about sports where one-liners and sarcasm will be the theme in the ever laughable world of professional sports.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Occasionally Coherent Ramlbings #14

Ricky Williams is back and it looks like he took his vacation to heart. He has an unkept beard and hair and looks like he just was rescued from a tropical island. I think the boat is called the SS.Signingbonus or the SS.Thankgoodnessthedolphinsarestillsuckers

Watching the Cubs beat the St Louis Cardinals in 2 of three games, I realized, as a Cubs fan how much Tony Larussa outmanaged Dusty Baker, and the long ball, unexpected heroes and solid pitching made Dusty look good.

Shocking news from Chicago, and tell me if this sounds at all familiar, Kerry Wood may go back on the Disabled List. I know, I know. Absurd you say. But it is true. It may very well happen...again.

Endorsement News:
Andre Agassi is leaving Nike and switching to Addidas. Great move addidas. Nothing like endorsing a player near the end of his career. Thats like endorsing Jack Nicklaus or Wilt Chamberlain, or an NHL hockey player.

Everyone, stand up with me and applaude. Lance Armstrong winning his 7th and last Tour De French-speaking place. He is going to finish on top, and be able to spend more time with his kids and with, now that he will no longer be as much in the spotlight, within 6 months, his ex-girlfriend, Sheryl Crow. But congratulations, Lance, you are worthy of everything you have received. I get on my bike on flat terrain and after two blocks I am winded. Lance rode up like a 130% incline for mile upon mile.

Anyone else bored with Larry Brown and him loving the spotlight.

First NFL teams reported to camp, summer and football? And not in Europe. Is this heaven? No, its Iowa....sorry, bad Field of Dreams reference.

Anyone else realize that there is a division in baseball not name the AL East? Anyone else realize that when the Red Sox complain about the Yankees, that it is like the rich kid complaining about the mega-rich kid's new car? Now a Devil Rays or a Kansas City Royals or a Chicago White Sox fan has room to complain.

More to come soon.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Occasionally Coherent Ramlbings #13

I'm Back!! I am out of the cave where I was hibernating but I am back and ready to rock

Skip Bayless on questioning if Rafael Palmeiro should be in the Hall of Fame should be bound and gagged. His point is that he never was an MVP or the best player at his position. And them just goes on to say he is a consistent hitter for a long time. me a consistent hitter with 3,000 hits, on the cusp of 600 home runs and one of the prettiest swings in the history of baseball, not to mention will be remembered for Viagra commercials merits a Hall Of Fame induction.

Terrell Owens: I always liked him. I felt like he played hard and had fun. The Sharpie was hilarious. He dominates defenses and can be a one-man wrecking crew. He orchestrates a trade from Baltimore to Philadelphia, signs a new contract and with his efforts, Donovan McNabb and a solid defense make it to the Super Bowl. Now he wants more money. Sorry, I think I just vomited. But that is all I have to say about how I now feel about Terrell Owens.

NHL finally agreed to a labor contract. Ummm, who you ask? Exactly. NEXT!

Larry Brown out, Flip Saunders in. Even with all the issues that were hanging over the Detroit Pistons head at the beginning of the playoffs with Larry Brown, and he still got them to within one game of winning Back-to-Back Championships. Meanwhile, Saunders had a lot of talent (Garnett) and a choker (Latrell Sprewell) and he could barely keep them above .500. Joe Dumars just saw his job go from very strong to a countdown of days that he and Vinnie "The Microwave" Johnson can go play shuffleboard.

White Sox and Cardinals have run away with their divisions. It helps when you are a very good team in some bad divisions. The second best team in the Cardinal's division, the Cubs, have talent and are moodier than a woman pregnant with twins and whom is 10 days past her due date.

Ricky Williams is back. Now Ricky dont smoke this, excuse me, blow this opportunity. I know it would be hard to live without a few more million dollars. By the way, I heard Master P has another great contract for you to sign.

Lance Armstrong is blowing the field away in the Tour de Surrender. I think it is awesome that he is doing it. But Lance, please, please, take the needle out of your arm before you ride the final stage.

I do love how a stage was delayed in the Tour de France because of cattle farmers were protesting the French government reintroducing wolves to the Alps. Europe is crazy.

An Aussie won the World Series of Poker's Main Event, Texas Hold'Em. And with it, he won $7.5 Million dollars. More than Tiger Woods or the entire purse of the British Open. So, naturally, as the dollars keep growing for poker, you will have more kids learning how to play poker. Which will mean they will learn how to better bluff or lie. Which is something we need more of in this world. Granted, I have pockets Aces...or do I?

I am back, and I will be writing these on a normal basis again. Ahhh, it feels good to stretch my legs again.