Column about sports where one-liners and sarcasm will be the theme in the ever laughable world of professional sports.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Quick Hits #6

And then there was 2. Illinois and (out-of-nowhere) Boston College remain the only two undefeated teams amoung the college ranks after Illinois ended Wisconsin's 38 game home win streak and Boston College defeated a strong Providence team. Meanwhile the other undefeated, Duke, lost at home to Maryland.

Ok, people, LeBron James hurt his ankle, true. He came back and helped his team win, true. But a Willis Reed moment? I think not. Lets look at this closer, Regular season game versus Game 7 of the NBA Finals, favor Reed. James played against the Memphis Grizzlies (name two players on the Grizzlies, please), Reed played against Wilt Chamberlain and the Los Angeles Lakers. A good game and gutsy performance by LeBron, but no Willis Reed.

Speaking of the Lakers, they have hit a new low. The Los Angeles Lakers, playing on the road in Los Angeles, against the Clippers (I wonder if the commute time is longer), the Lakers loss to the Clippers. It is a good thing that Kobe drove Shaq and Phil away since he can still handle his business.

The Denver Nuggets are about to hire George Karl to become their new head coach and replace Michael Cooper who was the coach on an interim basis. I think Karl is a perfect fit for the Nuggets. He can continue to underachieve as a head coach with a team that continues to underachieve. Sounds like a perfect match. I heard Rich Kotite is available.

Mets GM Omar Minaya just signed Fidel Castro to a 4-year, $30 Million contract.

With the Atlantic Division team in first place as currently being an under .500 team, when does the WNBA start?

Ooops...I meant, who cares when the WNBA starts.
...Or maybe it was, does the WNBA still exist?

Raven RB Jamal Lewis was sentenced to 4 months in prison for using his cell phone to setup a drug deal. Good move, Jamal. That is like Donald Trump trying to start a lemonade stand on a hot day. Just be careful this coming Super Bowl Sunday, Jamal, yo should probably not go to Atlanta with Ray Lewis to watch the game because we could tack on a murder charge that will indefinitely be dropped.

Lewis still has to rehab his ankle over the off season, which he will be allowed to do while serving his 4 months in prison. So let me get this straight, he will be surrounded around large men that have been convicted of various charges of crime? Is Lewis going to prison or the Palace at Auburn Hills for a Pistons-Pacers Game? Or any NBA team, as a matter of fact?

Doug Mientkiewicz, recently traded from the Red Sox to the Mets, has decided to give the Red Sox the ball that recorded the final out in their historic World Series Championship for no money, on loan, for one year. In which time, he expects to get the ball back. When asked about if he should be able to keep the ball and sell it or be forced to give it back, Latrell Sprewell said he would sell the ball so that he and his $14 Million annual salary could afford to put food on the table for his family.

Federal agents recently raided the home of BALCO founder Victor Conte. Does anyone else see Conte home kind of like the Grotto, but instead of Hot women in skantly clad swimwear, it is athletes like Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Jason Giambi and Marion Jones hanging out and applying the "Cream and the Clear"? I think I would prefer to be at the Grotto. Just me talking here.

I know this has been already srutinized, but.....
Within mere minutes of his team's loss in the AFC Championship game to the New England Patriots, Plaxico Burress (yes that is his first name) complained about how many catches he had over the season. This coming from the guy who dropped a touchdown catch in an important stage of the game. Good thing he knows when to talk and when to let his hands do the talking....cue up Freddie Mitchell thanking his hands. Plaxico, Go home, do not pass go, do not collect $200. (More like $2 Million).

Terrell Owens looks like he is going to ignore his doctor's advice and try to prepare to play in the Super Bowl a week and a half away. Let me get this right, he has a crack bone and knee ligaments and is doing everything he can to play. John Abraham was cleared to play by the doctor and refused to help his team in an AFC Playoff game. Hmmm....I wonder what would have happened if A) Owens was in a contract year B) Abraham was not in a contract year. Anyways, kudos to Owens for doing anything he can to play in the Super Bowl and I still shake my head at Abraham for letting down his teammates.

With the Conference Playoff games over, let the media circus begin for the Super Bowl. Especially since there is no NHL (not like anyone cares) and the NBA is more boring than ever since the Suns and Sonics games are never shown west of the Pacific Ocean.

And last bit, to the baby in the Quiznos commercials.....the way the baby pats his belly and the lips of someone else, does this freak out anyone else? Everytime I see this commercial, it freaks the hell out of me.



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