Quick Hits #3

$10,000
That's what Randy Moss was fined for his unimaginative fake mooning of the crowd at Lambeau Field. In a conversation with a reporter as he was entering into his car after practice on Thursday, the reporter asked if he had written out the check yet. Moss' answer, "When your rich, you don't write checks." "If you don't write checks, how do you pay these guys?" "Straight cash, homey."
When asked what he thought about the $10,000, he said, "Ain't nothing but 10 grand. What's 10 grand....to me?"
This just comes to prove, who still says "homey"? Get with it already Randy. We are so on to you and your out of style ways.

Major League Baseball just severely changed their drug testing policy that includes off-season testing, and significantly changing the suspension period for violating players. When hearing of the change, Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield, Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa all asked if the stadiums could move the outfield walls in by 50 feet because they cannot hit home runs as often and as far without their steroids, I mean their "candy".

So the Chicago Bulls have recently rattled off two 5-game winning streaks with only a 7-point defeat to the defending champs, the Pistons in fight-central Detroit. Since the Bulls' 0-9 start, they are 15-9 and are vying for a spot in the playoffs. The last time the Bulls were this close was when Michael Jordan wore a Bulls uniform and, oh, they did not suck.

On the other hand, the Minnesota Timberwolves with stud, Kevin Garnett, cannot win a game having lost 8 of their last ten. But I will be comfortable at night as long as Latrell Sprewell and his $15 million salary will be able to feed his family. Apparently they eat Dodo birds and dinosaurs for dinner in the land of CRAZY. Head Coach Flip Saunders, you hear that? That is

Kobe Bryant severely sprained his ankle Thursday night in a game against the Cavaliers after landing on Ira Newble's foot. This is proof that if you rape someone, force one of the best players and one of the best coaches of all-time to leave your team, that bad things can happen. That and playing hard.

Michelle Wie continues to enter Men's PGA Tournaments on Sponsor exemptions. At the Sony Open at the Waialae Country Club in Honolulu, HI. On Thursday, in her opening round, she shot an unimpressive 75, translating into needing a solid performance on Friday in order to make the cut. Maybe its just me, and I know she is only 15, and I know she can hit a ball very, very far, but I think until she wins the Women's Amateurs, she should probably stick on the women's side, cause right now she is so extremely over-hyped. What's next, are we gonna say that Emeka Okafor is the next Karl Malone? Maybe Dan O'Brien is going to win the Olympic Games in the Decathalon versus Dave. Michelle, please see Annika Sorenstam as to how to conduct yourself as a female golfer on the PGA Tour.

One last note dealing with this, since female activist groups have been so involved with Golf recently (see the Masters), what would happen if Tiger Woods or Vijay Singh were to get a sponsor exemption to play on the LPGA Tour and play in one tournament? We are trying to have no gender bias issues, but then the women's tour sets a double standard. Hmmm...

Oh, please bring me the head of agent Scott Boras.

In case you missed it, Jackie Christie and her husband were recently offered a television show on VH1. Jackie's husbad and bitch is Orlando Magic guard, Doug Christie.

One last point to make, Peyton Manning received 48 of 49 votes for MVP of the NFL this season. The one other vote went to Atlanta's Michael Vick. Now, I am not "playa hatin'", Vick had a very good year, but I do not even think he should be going to the Pro Bown over Brett Favre, let alone be getting a vote for the MVP of Peyton Manning and his record-breaking 49 touchdown passes. Sports writer in Atlanta, you should have all priviledges and credentials revoked.