Column about sports where one-liners and sarcasm will be the theme in the ever laughable world of professional sports.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Quick Hits #1

First of all, it has been some time since I have written a Quick Hits column, so it feels real good to be back to working on them again. I feel like Michael Jordan after his first retirement, fresh and ready to work hard to prove I still have it. I could use a fadeaway jumper like his and the endorsement money never hurts....but anyways....

Randy Moss....you think he likes attention? Pretends to pull his pants down in Lambeau Field when his team was about to win a playoff game in Green Bay. It was only their third win in 23 chances outside of a domed stadium. This happened a week after he walked off the field with two seconds left and his team down by only three points. Hey Randy, what next, you gonna drive over a traffic officer? Oh wait, done. Maybe you could bring with a Sharpie and sign your name on a football. Oh wait, done.

Carlos Beltran signed a 7-year, $119 Million contract with the Mets. All this after there were no real suitors for Beltran after the Astros lost the right to negotiate for Beltran until May 1st. The only other possible suitors, the Cubs and the Yankees, only gave luke warm responses to Beltran but balked at his $100+ million contract demand. This after the Mets overpaid for Pedro Martinez.....Doesn't this sound a lot like contracts they gave to Mo Vaughn, Bobby Bonilla, Tom Glavine or, well, anyone that is given a contract by the Mets.

The Mets still have interest in another overpaid, past his prime hitter in Sammy Sosa. Mets GM Omar Minaya can make it a clean sweep of overpaying for underperforming players. I hear Mo Vaughn and Ty Cobb are both looking to come back to play.

In a shocking surprise, I think George Steinbrenner had a heart attack minutes before he could call Brian Cashman to call Scott Boras to outbid the Mets to sign Beltran. How could he let another team, let alone another New York team, buy the biggest free agent on the offseason market.

Peyton Manning threw for 360 yards in the Colts 49-24 destruction of the Denver Broncos...in the first half!!! For ended the game with 457 yards passing overall, oh, and 4 touchdown passes. To give you a comparison, the worst offense in the NFL this season, the Bears, the leading passer for the final two weeks of the season had 310 yeards total in the last two weeks of the season, 478 yards in the final three games combined. Are we still curious why the Colts just manhandled a team in the first round of the playoffs and Peyton Manning was the Offensive Player of the Year this season versus the Bears are snuggled up under a blanket at home in front of a fire after a 5-11 season and Chad Hutchinson started the season surfing off the coast of California?

Final Hit, Kobe Bryant, ever since his turmoil with Shaquile O'Neal and Phil Jackson, oh and a rape charge in Colorado, has seen his jersey sales plummet. He finised the year in the top 10, but he finished the month of December at no. 72 and in one week fell to as low as No. 90. Its good to see that if you rape someone, and bad-mouth all the important people on a team that you are a part of, that the main thing that is effected and reported about is how poor your jersey sales have done around Christmas time. I am just worried if Kobe's eleventy billion dollar contract will allow him to make payments on his wife's 9,000 karrot diamond ring and be able to afford to put food on the table for his daughter.


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